Living with an alcoholic wife can be a tremendous struggle and a painful experience. It often feels like you are married to two different people at the same time. When she’s sober, your wife is the sweetest, loving woman you have ever met. She is that wonderful, kind and caring person you fell in love with some time ago. But the moment she gets hold of the alcohol and her alcohol abuse addiction gets into full swing, she becomes an aggressive, vindictive drunk who draws out an intense wave of shame, sadness, anxiety and frustration in you.
She becomes adamant that shes completely right about any ridiculous idea that crosses her mind, however crazy it seems. You try your best to diffuse the situation but its hard not to get drawn into an argument. Its useless to talk rationally to her yet ignoring her rants drives her into a screaming rage.
This alcohol abuse addiction is destroying your marriage and living with an alcoholic wife is tearing you apart.
Sometimes you feel like youre going insane when she swears that she has not been drinking, yet you can smell the alcohol. Youre worried about inviting anyone home in case your wife is already drunk. You no longer organize social nights in case she drinks too much. She refuses to consider rehab for alcohol.
Life is a struggle, full of frustration, shame, suffering and you desperately want a change. But you love her and you dont want to leave. You just want the alcohol abuse addiction to stop.
Youre not alone. Its normal for spouses to feel isolated and alone. Men living with an alcoholic wife feel confused, frustrated, angry and ashamed stuck with nowhere to turn and no one to share with or support them.
What can you do to make your life more enjoyable while living with an alcoholic wife?
Stop trying to make her stop drinking. The more you complain and nag at your wife to stop drinking, the harder it becomes for her to stop her alcohol abuse. Start taking care of yourself and your well-being.
Stop engaging with the alcoholic. When shes been drinking and starts up arguments, simply walk away, close the door behind you and leave the house. Preserve your mental health first.
When shes been drinking and shes on the alcohol abuse addiction roller-coaster, treat her like a stranger. Love and support the woman you married, not the disease.
Stop encouraging the alcoholic addiction. Absolutely No special attention or care while she’s drinking. This means that you do not buy her alcohol even when she begs you to. Do not let her drive. Do not help her to bed. Do not talk to her or argue with her. Just leave the house. Stop encouraging her drinking.
When your wife is sober, be extra loving and supportive. Give her special attention and tell her how much you love her, but not the drinking. Let her know that you will not engage with her when shes drinking. She has to know all the horrible and vindictive things she does to you and others when shes drunk.
Before you can really help your wife overcome her alcoholic addiction, work on yourself first. Look after your physical and emotional well-being. Strengthen your mental health. There are proven resources that can provide you with support, tips and information while you are living with an alcoholic spouse. You are not alone.